Being a psychotherapist and counsellor in Dublin means that I will often encounter examples of the ‘psychological defence mechanisms’. In cases of depression, anxiety, addiction - pretty much any symptom in the field of mental health you care to name will exhibit some evidence of a defence mechanism. So what exactly is a psychological defence mechanism?

You don’t have to be a psychotherapist!

We’ve all heard it. You’ll be talking with a friend and they will say something along the lines of ‘yeah, I am really, really happy that my ex has met someone and moved on.’ Or, ‘I’m really happy that my younger sister has just had a baby because I am totally fine not having kids, it’s just not for me’, or ‘I didn’t want that promotion anyway so it’s cool I didn’t get it, just going through the process is great experience!’ Depending on how well we know the person, we can often tell pretty quickly that they mean the exact opposite of what they have just said. 

‘Of course I’m not anxious!’

We even sometimes catch ourselves saying things we had no intention of saying, or cannot fathom why we would blurt something out. Unprovoked denial is another indication that we may be revealing more about ourselves than we realise: ‘I’m struggling at the moment but it has nothing to do with my best friend recently getting married’, or ‘I’ve put on some weight recently but I’m really fine with it’, or ‘I’ve been getting more and more anxious recently but it has nothing to do with my mother saying she was worried about me’. This denial, or negation, is something so common that it seems blindingly obvious when pointed out. They are examples of some of the psychological ‘defence mechanisms’, and make up part of everyday life. 

Protecting our mental health

The common thread here is that all these evasions or defences are based on language. Like the best lawyer, we can be very adept at arguing a case for the defence that utilises all the tricks and rhetorical devices available so that in the end, we may not even be sure ourselves how we feel - and that is exactly the point. These defence mechanisms are part of a process of protecting ourselves from painful experiences and thoughts. By deploying these defences we are not trying to fool those who we are speaking with, but ourselves. If we constantly tell ourselves that ‘I’m fine, I’m not upset by these things that are happening in my life’, the hope is that we believe it. But the problem is that it only works to a certain extent. 

Our minds are complicated things

By negating the very thought we truly believe, that ‘maybe I am actually really bothered by my ex moving on’, or ‘my mother’s over-bearing concern is just too much for me to deal with’, we can be making more problems for ourselves further down the line. And to make things more complicated, we are often completely unaware that we are doing it. If we were to pick up a hot saucepan we would instinctively drop it to prevent ourselves getting burned - we wouldn’t even think about it. Something similar happens when we encounter something psychologically painful. Without even realising it we can instinctively push away a painful thought or realisation. 

Causes of anxiety, depression and guilt

The problem arises when these defence mechanisms start to cover over something that becomes bigger than we can deal with. Just pushing things under the carpet works for a while, especially if our circumstances are changing. But what if things don’t change, and we continue trying to pick up that hot saucepan because we don’t even realise that it could hurt us? Anxiety, depression, feelings of sadness or guilt - all these feelings and more can make themselves felt if we let things go on too long. 

Psychotherapy and Counselling

So what can be done? How is it possible to overcome an instinctive response to something painful, and should we even do it considering that we wouldn’t continue to hold our hand in the fire if it were burning? Working with a good psychotherapist or counsellor will allow these defences to be overcome in a safe and gradual manner. The fact that it is through language that we construct these defences means that a talk based therapy such as psychoanalysis is ideally suited to dismantling and working through them, so that ultimately we can address these painful experiences and overcome them. Articulating the reality of our situation is a difficult thing to do at times, but in doing so we can address the things that cause our suffering and change the way that we relate to them, soften the grip they hold us by, and create a new way to be. 

If you would like to learn more or speak to one of psychotherapists, please contact us.